The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
