can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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