But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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