Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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