Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize