Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
