: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
