On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
