Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
