Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
