I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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