Nicole vs. Life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
