she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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