What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
