redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Randomize
