I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
