U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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