I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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