His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize