he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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