Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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