yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's blow job season.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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