I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dear god my vagina.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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