and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
