so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
