Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
