Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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