Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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