hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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