my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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