Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
