I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
