so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
