so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
