If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
