drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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