i think my mom watched the whole time
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
