Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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