omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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