i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
