We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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