Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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