It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize