Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
