Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
