After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
