Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
