my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
