Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
