Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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