so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
