i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
