why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize