sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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