i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
