I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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