Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
