Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
