Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
