Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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