I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
