Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
