You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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