Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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